Listening Skill

Pre-Read II

Listening Skills

by - EFN 1-D

Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood – communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated. We remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear. Good listening skills also have benefits in our personal lives, including a greater number of friends and social networks, improved self-esteem and confidence, higher grades at school and in academic work and even better health and general well-being.

Real listening is an active process that has three basic steps.

• Hearing. Hearing just means listening enough to catch what the speaker is saying. For example, say you were listening to a report on zebras, and the speaker mentioned that no two are alike. If you can repeat the fact, then you have heard what has been said.
• Understanding. The next part of listening happens when you take what you have heard and understand it in your own way. Let's go back to that report on zebras. When you hear that no two are alike, think about what that might mean. You might think, "Maybe this means that the pattern of stripes is different for each zebra."
• Judging. After you are sure you understand what the speaker has said, think about whether it makes sense. Do you believe what you have heard? You might think, "How could the stripes to be different for every zebra? But then again, the fingerprints are different for every person. I think this seems believable."

The 10 Principles of Listening

1.      Stop Talking : When somebody else is talking listen to what they are saying, do not interrupt, talk over them or finish their sentences for them.

2.      Prepare Yourself to Listen : Focus on the speaker.  Put other things out of mind, try to put other thoughts out of mind and concentrate on the messages that are being communicated.

3.      Put the Speaker at Ease : Remember their needs and concerns. Nod or use other gestures or words to encourage them to continue. 

4.      Remove Distractions : Focus on what is being said. Don’t doodle, shuffle papers, look out the window, pick your fingernails or similar. Avoid unnecessary interruptions.  These behaviours disrupt the listening process and send messages to the speaker that you are bored or distracted.

5.      Empathise : Try to understand the other person’s point of view. Look at issues from their perspective.  Let go of preconceived ideas.  By having an open mind we can more fully empathise with the speaker. 

6.      Be Patient : Be patient and let the speaker continue in their own time, sometimes it takes time to formulate what to say and how to say it. Never interrupt or finish a sentence for someone.

7.      Avoid Personal Prejudice : Don't become irritated and don't let the person’s habits or mannerisms distract you from what the speaker is really saying

8.      Listen to the Tone : A good speaker will use both volume and tone to their advantage to keep an audience attentive; everybody will use pitch, tone and volume of voice in certain situations – let these help you to understand the emphasis of what is being said.

9.      Listen for Ideas – Not Just Words : You need to get the whole picture, not just isolated bits and pieces. Maybe one of the most difficult aspects of listening is the ability to link together pieces of information to reveal the ideas of others.

10.  Wait and Watch for Non-Verbal Communication : Gestures, facial expressions, and eye-movements can all be important.

Becoming an Active Listener

There are five key active listening techniques. They all help you ensure that you hear the other person, and that the other person knows you are hearing what they say.

1. Pay Attention : Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also "speaks" loudly. Look at the speaker directly, put aside distracting thoughts, avoid being distracted by environmental factors, "Listen" to the speaker's body language.

2. Show That You're Listening : Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention → Smile and use other facial expressions, note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting, encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.

3. Provide Feedback : Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions → Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," and "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to reflect back, Ask questions to clarify certain points. "What do you mean when you say." "Is this what you mean?", and summarize the speaker's comments periodically.

4. Defer Judgment : Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message → Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions, and don't interrupt with counter arguments.

5. Respond Appropriately : Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.

Listening Types

1.      General Listening Types:

The two main types of listening - the foundations of all listening sub-types are:

·         Discriminative Listening : This is the most basic form of listening and does not involve the understanding of the meaning of words or phrases but merely the different sounds that are produced.  In early childhood, for example, a distinction is made between the sounds of the voices of the parents – the voice of the father sounds different to that of the mother.

·         Comprehensive Listening : Comprehensive listening involves understanding the message or messages that are being communicated.  Like discriminative listening, comprehensive listening is fundamental to all listening sub-types.

2.      Specific Listening Types

Discriminative and comprehensive listening are prerequisites for specific listening types.  Listening types can be defined by the goal of the listening. The three main types most common in interpersonal relationships are:

·         Informational Listening (Listening to Learn) : When we’re listening to learn or be instructed we are taking in new information and facts, we are not criticising or analysing. Informational listening, especially in formal settings like in work meetings or while in education, is often accompanied by note taking – a way of recording key information so that it can be reviewed later.

·         Critical Listening (Listening to Evaluate and Analyse) : Critical listening is a much more active behaviour than informational listening and usually involves some sort of problem solving or decision making.

·         Therapeutic or Empathetic Listening (Listening to Understand Feeling and Emotion) : This type of listening does not involve making judgements or offering advice but gently encouraging the speaker to explain and elaborate on their feelings and emotions.  Skills such as clarification and reflection are often used to help avoid misunderstandings. 

3.      Other Listening Types

·         Appreciative Listening : Appreciative listening is listening for enjoyment.  A good example is listening to music, especially as a way to relax.

·         Rapport Listening : When trying to build rapport with others we can engage in a type of listening that encourages the other person to trust and like us.  This type of listening is common in situations of negotiation.

·         Selective Listening : This is a more negative type of listening, it implies that the listener is somehow biased to what they are hearing.  Selective listening is a sign of failing communication – you cannot hope to understand if you have filtered out some of the message and may reinforce or strengthen your bias for future communications.

Common Barriers to Listening

There are many things that get in the way of listening and you should be aware of these barriers, many of which are bad habits, in order to become a more effective listener.  Barriers and bad habits to effective listening can include trying to listen to more than one conversation at a time, you find the communicator attractive/unattractive, you are not interested, not focusing and being easily distracted, feeling unwell or tired, hungry, thirsty or needing to use the toilet, identifying rather than empathizing, sympathising rather than empathizing, you are prejudiced or biased by race, gender, age, religion, accent, and/or past experiences, you have preconceived ideas or bias, you make judgements, thinking, for example that  a person is not very bright or is under-qualified so there is no point listening to what they have to say, previous experiences – we are all influenced by previous experiences in life, preoccupation - when we have a lot on our minds we can fail to listen to what is being said as we're too busy concentrating on what we're thinking about, and having a close mind.

References

https://www.mindtools.com/CommSkll/ActiveListening.htm accessed on 8 November 2015 (21.11 WIB)

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-skills.html accessed on 8 November 2015 (21.20 WIB)

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/listening-types.html accessed on 8 November 2015 (21.30 WIB)

http://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/ineffective-listening.html accessed on 8 November 2015 (22.00 WIB)

http://www.infoplease.com/homework/listeningskills1.html accessed on 9 November 2015 ( 20.12 WIB)

http://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/ accessed on 9 November 2015 (20.48 WIB)